After my second brother Ian Flanders died BASE jumping in Turkey the Turkish news saw fit to push out a quick news report about him riddled with inconsistency, misspellings and nonsense. His age was incorrect, the manner in which he passed wasn't even close and one report even confused him with Batman for some odd reason. Their reports were then echoed by the world news who was too lazy to actually do their job and report the story or do any amount of fact checking. All but the LA times fucked the dog. Good thing Ian has Facebook where he is because he sent me this to post.

 

An Open Letter to the Turkish News,

You all just made the list, and I will have my vengeance for your haphazard, lazy reporting. In fact the first person that kicks one of those ass hats in the nuts for me gets a drink on me when I see them. I’ve gotten like 30 texts from girls I told I was 28. Way to go Turkish news. Now all I have is overweight women in accounts receivable calling me thinking I’m a 37 year old desperation case.

Oh and American news, get your shit together. Lets for the moment ignore the Carl-Wallenda like misstep that was posting my Wingsuit demonstration jump post-interview, below the paragraph about me dying on the Wingsuit demonstration-jump and ask this. How did you all think my fellow jumper friend Scotty Bob’s name was really spelled Scatty? Did you not think to maybe, I don’t know, pick up a phone book and see that no one in the whole of United States was named that? Pick your game up you just got out-reported by a college newspaper that surrounded the story in 5 minutes by simply looking through my Instagram (@slanders_) #You’reBadAtYourJobs. Fuck CBS, Fuck NBC, LA Times you’re cool, Fuck Dan Rather I’m out.  #tupaclives

P.S. I’m looking through all your cloud drives…This is where clouds are

Sinceley,

Ian Fucking Flanders (microphone drop)

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